Noah at 2 wks old and Justin at 2 wks old

Justin, Noah and Mason

Today the babies are 2 weeks old. I cannot believe all that has happened in those 2 weeks. Yesterday and today I went to the hospital. They are all looking great! When I walked in yesterday I was excited to see that Mason is off the vent! They had just taken him off and he had been doing well. Today he is still doing well with minimal brady's. He did get a transfusion and who knows, maybe that is what helped him. He just needed a little push. He is back up to 2 pounds 14 ounces and he is tolerating his full feeds well. They will look at adding some calories to his milk in the next day or so rather than increase the amount. Breast milk only has like 20 or 21 calories and preemies need more than that. Justin and Noah are boht doing well. Justin is at 2 pounds 13 ounces and Noah is 2 pounds 3 ounces. Both gaining weight appropriately even though it does fluctuate. They said it is ok if they lose a little and then gain as long as overall for the week they are gaining. Both are on good feeding schedules and tolerating the feeds well. When I was there yesterday all three looked so peaceful and cozy. I really felt like they needed their rest and so did not ask to hold them. When I spoke to the night nurse and told her that she said that the nurses appreciate when we recognize that. Today I was able to hold both Justin and Noah. Justin's pulse ox went down a bit after I was holding him for a while which is always a little scary. But he was quite comfy with me. Noah is so much tinier than Justin. his head is probably the size of a nectarine. He opened his eyes a lot while I was holding him. At one point he started crying really hard which i always think is good. He is excersing his lungs!! But then he had an apnea episode which scared the hell out of me. His heart rate dropped and we had to pat him hard on the back to get him back to breathing. His nurse told me that is completely normal and that as he gets older and stronger he will be able to bring himself out of it. It doesn't happen a lot. It still was not fun. But, by the time I was leaving he was fine and comfy again. I can't leave if there are any alarms going off. They all have to be quiet and comfy.
Tomorrow bob will be able to go see the boys. He has unfortunately had to work this week and since I am still not totally functional and logan is still pretty sick he has had to come home. I am hoping that we will get to hold Mason tomorrow since he got left out today. We are going to have many years ahead of us trying to make all things equal for the boys!!
Logan, as I said is still pretty sick. i feel so bad for him. But it's good he is home and has the oppurtunity to get well. I am hopeful that today was the worst day and that he will be better by Friday. I know all of this wears on him as well.
I am going to upload photos tomorrow.
Thanks to everyone for your comments. We look forward to reading them and appreciate all of you so much.
Happy New Year!!

Yesterday was a tough day. Logan has been sick the entire weekend with a fever on and off, runny nose, cough and gooky eyes. Poor guy. I decided not to go to the hospital yesterday and stay with him. My family came over and helped clean up the house and take down all the Christmas stuff. I thank God for family. It was very hard for me not to go. I feel so torn between going to the hospital and spending time with logan. Since i was pretty active the past few days and was having some pain I thought it best to take the day off. Bob took his mother to see the babies. Mason had a pretty big setback. He had been having quite a few brady's. They were unable to stabilize him on the cpap and so he is back on the ventilator. Both Bob and I were pretty upset but the doctor had told us that could happen. He had just been moving along so well. Justin was doing really well. Had a few brady's but nothing major and so they started the 10 day feeding schedule again. Naoh had a few brady's as well. They drew more labs to see if he had an infection. Today Bob and I went to see the boys together. We were so surprised to see that both Mason and Justin had been taken off the photo therapy lights!! Since Mason is on the vent now his nose was clear and his eyes no longer covered. It was the first time I saw his face. I cried. It was so amazing to finally look at him and see what he looked like. Justin was off too and so we were able to see his as well though his nose is still covered but how wonderful to look in his eyes when he opens them. He even had on a little t shirt. So adorable. We spoke to the doctor and she updated us on everything. They xrayed Mason and his lungs and stomach look fine. The bld vessel is closed as well. He had labs drawn and everything looked good. His count was a bit low which means within the next 24-48 hours he will be getting a transfusion. She assured us that it was very common in preemies to get transfused. They only get about 2 teaspoons of blood. She explained that they really don;t know why he is having issues breathing through his nose. She thinks it is likely due to some sort of blockage, like secretion or actually a dried booger. Sometimes the nasal cavity can swell from the suction also and that could be causing him problems. He has been doing very well on the vent and they started his feeds up again. They only needed to put a peripheryl IV in for fluids and not a new pick line. If he stays on course with his feeds, the IV will come out after the transfusion. They will use saline drops in his nose and hope that he is able to clear whatever is blocking. If he pulls the tube out tonight they will try to put him back on cpap and see what happens. Justin is doing well. A couple brady's here and there but nothing significant. He is continuing his feeds and will increase tomorrow I think. He will need a transfusion as well but not for a couple days. They cannot transfuse in a pick line so they will need to give him another IV. Noah came off the lights while we there and opened his eyes before we left. He had a few brady's while we were there. They did blood work and it came back just OK. They started him on antibiotics in case he has an infection which could be the reason for the brady's. His bld count was higher than the others so they will wait on transfusing him until he is done with the antibiotics and they get the cultures back. They think the brady's are likely due to the secretions that settle in their nose and throat as a result of the cpap. All 3 of them have a lot. They attempted to take Mason out so Bob could hold him but he did not tolerate it well and we had to put him back in the isolet.
It is so hard to be there and hear all the alarms going off and know that there is nothing you can do to help. I'm not sure which is worse, being the for the alarms or not being there for them.

One of the teachers in logan's school is coming to help me out tomorrow since Logan is off from school for the week. My parents will take me to see the babies for a couple hours and hopefully there won't be any news. sometimes boring is a good thing.

Today I went to the dr. to get my bloodwork checked. If it comes back ok I can stop one of the meds and just take the coumadin for 3 months. Which is good news since the other med consists of giving myself 2 injections a day. Which really sucks. After the dr. i went with my dad and sister Chrisanne to see the babies. Noah has been tolerating his feeds well and is up to 2 pounds 2 ounces which is almost his birthweight. It is normal for preemies, just like full term babies to lose weight the first week or 2 of life. He is still under the lights and Probably will be for another few days. Which apparently is quite normal. he isn't esating enough to pass the billirubin on his own yet. Mason is doing well also. He is almost at full feeds and as long as he tolerates his feeds tonight his pick line will be pulled. This is great news since the pick line is a long tube in his arm that goes into his belly I think with all the fluids and nutrients he needs. Once he is eating full feeds he doesn't need the fluids anymore. Plus the pick line is one more wire attadhed to him. He will be much more comfy without it. He has a little bit of puss in one of his eyes so they are giving him some ointment. They aren't sure what it is. Hopefully it will go away. I was able to hold him today. I wear a zipped up sweatshirt when I visit and I am able to put them inside my sweatshirt and hold them skin to skin. It is a truly amazing feeling. The nurse told me that if the baby needs any kind of antibodies or is fighting an infection the skin to skin contact makes me create what he needs in my milk. Pretty amazing huh? Plus my body has the ability to determine the temperature that he needs. If he is too cold or hot my body will actually adjust my tempertature to eiterh warm him or cool him down. Pretty amazing. Mason is up to 2 pounds 12 ounces, almost his birthweight as well. Justin had his echo today and his vessel is completely closed!!! Great news. So he started eating again today and will hopefully be able to tolerate it a little better. He was having some issues before the medications He gained a little weight also, he is 2 pounds 11 ounces which is good. I saw Dr. Wade today. She has been their primary for the past week and a half. She goes back to CHOP for a rotation so the primary dr. will change. I will miss her. She has taken such good care of them. My dad got a new camera for Christmas and he was able to take some pretty amazing pictures. As soon as I get them I will post them on the blog.
Bob and his sister Marianne went to see the babies tonight. No major changes. In this case, boring is good:-)
Logan is getting used to the fact that I can't pick him up. he is such a good boy!! I can't wait till I can run around with him again. Seems like it has been forever since I have been able to do anything!! Considering how big I got when I was pregnant moving around was not easy! I definitely walked a lot today and am hurting a bit tonight. I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow since Bob will be off from work.
Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays!! I can't believe 2008 is almost over. I am certainly looking forward to the new year.

Bob's Entry

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hello everyone! Today was a good day. It was a little busy but worth it at the end of the day. We woke up this morning and opened some gifts up with the family. We then over over to Allison's (Tracey's sister) house for brunch with the family. We opened some more gifts for Logan and everyone. Tracey and I then went to the hospital to see the boys and wish them a Merry Christmas. Noah is doing well and back on his food again. Mason is up to 16cc's (1/2 oz) of food every few hours and is doing well overall. He had a few brady episodes(bradycardia is defined as when the baby's heart rate slows down to less than 100 beats per minute normal is around 120-160 beats per minute and stops breathing). A shake or caffeine jolt gets it going again. They had to up his oxygen a bit just as a precaution. They will monitor it like this for 24 hours. Justin is not back on food yet and is still getting IV fluids until they check his heart again tomorrow. We stayed for a few hours then went to my families house for dinner. It was a great dinner and Logan got to play with his cousins and a few of them put on a play and acted out the 12 days of Christmas. It was very cute and entertaining. Logan got to bed later than usual, but it is Christmas so, oh well... Tracey is going to see the boys tomorrow and I have to go to work. I am going tomorrow night after work and give them a bath with the nurse of course. That is all for now. Everyone is doing great, but still unwinding from a pretty stressful and busy week. Thank you again for everyones support which is definitely needed.

Bob's Entry
Tracey came home last night! Logan and I were very excited to have mommy home. He smiled for what seemed like an hour. Of course, Logan passed on to me what he had the day before. I was sick all day yesterday. Luckily it was only a 24 hour bug. The boys are doing great. Tracey got to hold Justin skin on skin last night before she left the hospital. They are starting to gain weight 1 gram at a time. Noah and Justin get their echo done today so hopefully everything will come back ok and the vessell on their heart closed. They will start eating again after that instead of the IV fluids they have been getting. I also think they are coming off of the phototherapy for the jaundice either today or tomorrow. The CPAP (tube on their nose) should be coming off next week as they are progressing perfectly. It has been a pretty stressful week, but we are getting though it all with a lot of help from family and friends. We are looking forward to a nice Christmas Eve dinner, opening up gifts on Christmas day with Logan, seeing the babies in the hospital, then having a relaxing Christmas Dinner. Now that I am typing all of this out it seems like a lot. Oh well, it will be fun. More to come soon.

Bob's Entry-
Ok, so we just got some great news! Tracey is coming home tomorrow. She has to do injectables for 3-5 days then go on coumadin for 3 months. Everything looks promising as far as the clot clearing up.
The boys are doing great. The Dr. did not hear any return of the heart murmurs on Noah and Justin. They will get an echo in 2 days to see if the blood vessell closed on the heart. Mason is doing fantastic. He had his eyes open and was looking up at me. It was a great feeling. I finally got to hold Noah this evening. He is such a tiny peanut. It is getting a bit easier to go and see them and looking at their tiny fingers, toes, and head. I still cannot believe that we have 3 boys to take home in about 2 months. Talk to everyone soon.

Bob's entry-
Hello everyone! Here is the latest. This morning Tracey woke up with severe leg pain. She went to the ER and found out she had a blood clot that went from her ankle to just below her knee. So, we are back at the hospital. She is getting a treatment of heparin. Once this regulates, she will get a treatment of coumadin for 3-6 months. We will be in the hospital for a few days of monitoring and hopefully be home by Christmas. Our families have been very helpful and supportive and we both thank you. Logan is feeling a bit better. He was up last night and this morning throwing up and diarhea. The throwing up has subsided, but he still has the "runs". He was in better spirits this evening.
One benefit of being here is that we get to see the babies more often. They are doing well. Noah and Justin had echo's done because of a murmur. They are on some meds to close the blood vessell that did not close on their heart. This closes normally in full term babies, but seems to be pretty common of not closing in preemies. They will get their blood checked every once in a while to make sure it is not affecting thier kidneys (side affect). Mason is up to 6.5 ml of food and is eating great. Noah and Justin cannnot eat until they are done with their round of meds for their heart. They all cried (squeeled) a bit today and it was cute. We are going down to see them around 8:00 pm and hopefully we get to hold any one of them. I know it will help with everything that has been going on.

I left the hospital today. It was very hard to leave the peanuts behind but I was so excited to see Logan and Bob. I really missed being away from them. Justin has been having some feeding issues. Basically spitting up a bit so they xrayed his belly which came back normal. Looked like he needed a good poop. They gave him a supository. Generally the nurses will let us hold them only when they need to bother them for somethineng else. So when they gave it to him his nurse took him out and both Bob and I were able to hold him for about 30 minutes. He opened his eyes a couple times which just makes your day. His eyes are so tiny!! When he went back in the isolet I was able to change his diaper and he pooped! So they were able to remove the suction tube that was in his belly. The plan is to stop feeding him until probably Monday, giving his belly a rest. Otherwise he is doing well. His oxygen is still at 21 which is the same as you and I breathe.
Mason has been doing well. They increased his feedings to 4cc at 6 tonight and he tolerated it well. He still hasn't pooped again so fingers crossed that will happen tomorrow. He is actually looking like he is filling out a bit and has started to gain weight.
Noah had some feeding issues last night but pooped several times so they think it was probably related to the strain of that. They didn't xray him and by this morning he was eating again and tolerating it well.
All three are still under the lights because of their billirubin. The nurse thought that Noah might come off tomorrow since it had gone down a lot. That will be great because when they are under them they have to wear eye covers and you can't really see their faces. so it will be nice to see him open his eyes. It is likely he will go back under them which is normal but it will be good for him to get a break.
Unfortuntely Logan threw up tonight and has quite a sour stomach. Hopefully it was just something he ate and he will be fine tomorrow. he didn't have a fever and is sleeping now. I felt so bad for him. It was quite an eventful day for him too.
Tomorrow my friend Kim is coming to visit and we will go to the hospital in the morning to see the babies. Since Logan is sick Bob will probably stay with him in the morning and Then when I get home he will go see the babies in the afternoon.
It is so strange to be home without them. I wish there was more I could do for them. I feel so helpless and that is the hardest part. We met some of the other mothers with children in the ICN. It is quite a bonding experience since we are all going through the same thing.
It will be nice to sleep in my own bed and hopefully I get a good nights rest.
Good night.

This is Bob writing. It is 9:00 Friday night 12/19. I just hung up with Tracey (still in hospital). She is coming home tomorrow and I am very excited to have her home. Logan and I miss her very much. I am going to the hospital tomorrow to see my 3 boys. I have not seen them in a couple of days because I have been coming home and taking care of Logan. I have only held Justin so far and it was very emotional for me. I cannot wait to hold Mason and Noah. I get updated reports from Tracey everyday. They are all doing very well. They are all breathing on their own and the brain scans came back negative. Noah has two tubes connecting his kidneys to his bladder. So far, that is all that has been discovered. The coming weeks will be scary and exciting as we get more news on their development. I have 10k thoughts running through my head about so many things and all I want to do is be at the hospital with Tracey and hold my new boys. I will have more to write tomorrow after my visit and pick up Tracey.

Logan is doing great. Tonight we read the "HUG" book and the monkey in there is named Bobo. He says it everytime I point to the monkey now. It is so incredible to watch him develop and learn. I have so much to teach him and I have to remember to slow down and that he is only 18 months old. We have to start interviewing nannies next week. So, anyone reading this who has anyone they know please let us know. I am headed to bed now. I know, it is so early (9:30). Logan gets up at 5:30-6:00 so I have to rest so I am ready to play. Goodnight...

OK, I am not so good at this blogging thing but I thought I would give it a try so everyone can keep updated on the babies progress.
Noah, Justin and Mason are all doing well. They had their heads scanned today and everything came back normal which is great news! I am going home tomorrow which is bitter sweet. I miss Logan so much but cannot imagine that I will have to leave here without my babies.
The nurses here are amazing and take great care of the babies. I know over the next 10 weeks i will be spenidng a lot of time with them and i appreciate the care they are giving to my little peanuts!!
I will try to keep this updated as much as possible and appreciate all oif you who check in on how they are doing. Happy holidays!
the Commacks