Saturday, January 31, 2009

It has been a couple days. I don't even know what day it is anymore. I am exhausted. I cannot update the blog from my laptop for some reason and so I am falling behind. Bob has been so busy with work he is on the computer every night.
The boys are hanging in there. They ended up transfusing Mason because he was not improving with the canula. That happened Thursday I think. I was ok with it because I really felt like it would push him along. I saw him Friday and he didn't seem to do any better. His color is better but that's about it. Today I saw him and he still continues to dsat even on the canula with like 30% oxygen which isn't good. Especially at 35 weeks. I spoke to Melinda his nurse tonight and they bumped him up to a liter and now he seems to be doing better. They lowered the oxygen to 21 percent which is room air. I am glad about that but am still concerned that he needs to be on it. He is up to 5 pounds 2 ounces.
Justin is doing well. He is looking very pale and had a couple brady's today./ He sats at 96-100 but he is periodically tachachartic or however you spell it. Basically his heart rate is up in the 160's and 170's. If that becomes consistent, they will transfuse him also. So that is kind of hanging out there. He takes his bottles every other feeding which is good. I was there today to give him a bottle and I liked feeding him. I am the worst at burping them though. I sucked at it with Logan and am even worse with these tiny little peanuts. It feels so strange to try to move them around. I am afraid of hurting them. Their necks are very fragile and I have to be careful not to move it the wrong way because that can actually cause them to brady.
And little Noah. Well, yesterday I was holding Noah and he had a very serious brady. In fact the nurse had to take him and they could not get him to come back up. He turned blue. I thought I was going to die. I felt like screaming for someone to save my baby. I have never been so scared in my life. Except maybe when they told me I was going to have to deliver my babies 12 weeks early. I must have called 3 times after I left yesterday to check on him. He has been doing ok since then. I saw him today and he looked good. He is dsating also and I wonder what they will plan to do. While I sat there today Noah's nurse was feeding him while I fed Mason. One of the leads that measures his heart rate came off. As a result the monitor alarmed. For anyone who has had a baby in the NICU you know that sound. For 7 weeks I have seen all of my babies brady, dsat, get stuck with needles, have tubes coming from all over, get pricked on their heals, lay there with masks on their faces and on and on. But something about what happened with Noah yesterday scared me so bad that when the monitor went off today my whole body froze. I wanted to scream for it to stop. The alarm really meant nothing becasue the lead was just off but I couldn't stand the sound of that alarm.
Monday Bob and I are having a family meeting with the doctors, nurses and social worker to discuss the next steps, when the babies may come home and what to expect when they do. Including how to care for them since they are so susceptible to illnesses and they will be released at the height of the flu season. I hope that we will get a lot of answers. I am afraid that they are not where they are supposed to be and that these issues are an indication of long term problems. Maybe I am just overtired and trying to do too much. Anyway, I will keep you all posted on the meeting.
Tomorrow is the superbowl and I am routing for Arizona. I wish I could have a bottle of wine and just relax for the game. Unfortunately the coumadin doesn't allow me to drink so I will just focus on relaxing without it. Yah, right.
Hope everyone enjoys the game.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

First off, Mason's elevated lab was an error. They repeated the test Monday morning and it was normal. The blood cultures also came back normal. They stopped the antibiotics and took the canula off. Better safe than sorry. That was great news. Monday and Tuesday I was able to get to the hospital. Today I worked all day so I didn't see them. Basically they are all doing very well. Mason is up to 4 pounds 11 ounces. He is taking the bottle periodically but gets very tired and isn't quite up to it all the time. Which is normal. I spoke to Christine today and she said he is still sating at around 91 which is low for his age. They are 35 weeks and he should really be up around 95-96 consistently. I noticed it while I was there too because I watch all 3 monitors and Noah and Justin hang around 98-100. They really only drop if the pulse ox isn't picking up right or right after they eat which is related to reflux. He is great otherwise and so she didn't indicate there is concern for chronic lung disease or anything. I asked why she thought it was happening and she really thinks it is because he is tired. She said we are asking him to do a lot which is so true. He is in a crib now so we are asking him to breath on his own, hold his temperature, take a bottle, and basically function like a full term baby. So as a result he is back on the canula but only at a half liter which is good. Hopefully that will get him over this hump and in a couple days he will be strong enough to come off. It is a little upsetting since he is so big and we tend to have such high expectations for him. I still keep thinking they aren't even supposed to be here yet and we are asking them to "grow up so fast" in a sense. Tomorrow I will talk to the doctor in a little more detail. My fear is this is some sort of indication of something seriously wrong. Although, he doesn't brady, tolerates his feeds, is taking the bottle a lot, pooping, peeing etc. So we will wait and see how he progresses.
Justin is doing great. He is still at 3 pounds 15 ounces. Hopefully he won't lose weight now that he is in a crib. Sometimes if the babies are moved too soon they expend too much energy trying to stay warm and so they burn calories and lose weight. He looks a little pale but he is pretty fair so that may be it also. He is just too cute and I think looks a lot like Logan. I breast fed him the other day. The lactation lady came to help me . I have to say, it was weird. I didn't really like it and I think it may be because they are so small. It just doesn't feel natural. I prefer to give them a bottle. It makes me feel a little guilty since it is supposed to be such a bonding experience for a mom and I didn't feel that way at all. I feel more bonded when I am snuggling with them and their cheek is next to mine. But it's fine since I have no intention of breast feeding 3 babies. That is way too ambitious for me. I continue to pump and so they are getting what they need. I was formula fed and I turned out fine. Relatively speaking anyway:-) I do feel guilty telling the nurses. Some of them clearly think i should try to do it with 3. Please, that lady who just had the octopluts is going to breast feed. Seriously, she will literally do nothing else all day and night. I'm not sure it is even possible. But I digress..
Noah is fabulous. He is up to 3 pounds 7 ounces. He is filling out nicely and is a bottle maniac. He is in a crib as well and maintaining his temperature. Who would have thought he would be the one progressing the fastest.
One thing I forgot to mention about my postpartum visit....apparently they test all placentas of premature babies. Turns out Justin had an infection. They don't know what it was or where it came from. It could have been that I was slightly dilated and bacteria got in or something. Anyway, the point of me saying this is Noah's water is the one that broke. I firmly believe that he knew they needed to come out. He was in a way protecting his brother because he knew if the pregnancy continued and Justin had an infection he may not have survived. As my friend Sue said it will be interesting to see if that continues as they grow and Noah is the protector.
Tomorrow I am bringing my sister's new camera and taking pictures. I am hopeful that they will find a big crib and get them all in the same one. How fun will that be to get a picture of them all together snuggling in a crib!!
I have gotten so many emails from people letting me know they keep up with the blog. I know I have said it before but I cannot express how much it means to me. With all of the craziness of the past 2 months we are truly blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family. Please keep the comments coming. I love to read them. They keep my spirits up and my energy too.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The weekends just fly by. I can't believe it is Monday again. Friday the TV guy finally came only to tell me he couldn't do anything becasue he couldn't lift the TV. I can't even go into it becasue I will spend 10 minutes complaining about how annoying it was. Needless to say, I went to the hospital late but was able to hold all 3 boys together for an hour. Noah had a pretty serious Brady while I was hoilsding him. I couldn't tap his back becasue my arms were pinned holding all 3. Theresay, Mason's nurse came over and had to actually flick his back to get him breathing again. It was one of the scariest moments I have had in the ICN. But he came back and all was well. I must have looked petrified becasue Theresa was like are you ok? Other than that, all was well and I got that beautiful picture of all 3 of the boys.
Yesterday Bob visited them during the day and he fed Noah and Justin their bottles. Noah is sucking them down like a champ. Justin is not so interested. Looks like he might be the lazy one of the crew. But we will keep trying. Mason had been moved into a crib which was pretty exciting!! Bob and I went to dinner with our neighbors Sat. night so we took them to see the babies before we went out. The visit was short but I was glad they were able to see them. They haven't been there since I was in the hospital with the clot. When we got there Christine, Mason's nurse came right up to us to let us know Mason had to go back on the nasal canula. It was a little upsetting. He had been dsating a lot and just needed the help. I tried not to ponder it and just figured he needed a little longer to get there. We had a wonderful dinner and I actually had my first glass of wine in 8 months. Lovely!!
Today I went to the hospital this morning with my sister Allison. She has a had a cold so she hasn't seen the boys in a while. She got some good pictures and had a good visit with the nephews. Unfortunately, the Dr. approached me while I was there and told me that Mason had bloodwork done and one of te levels that indicates infection was elevated. They were going to start antibiotics immediatley and send blood out to be cultures and try to find out what is going on. I was and am so upste and worried. Christine made me feel a little better becasue she said his CBC was niormal and he was just slightly anemic which they really all are. We will have the preliminary results tomorrow afternoon but won't really know what is wrong for 72 hours. As a result he went back into the isolet. I am scared for him.
On a positive note, I actually breast fed Noah today. For such a little guy he sure has a big apetite. He did great and it was a nice little bonding time for us. After I sat with Mason and held him after they put the IV in his tiny little arm. It amazes me that they can find a vein. He cried so hard when they stuck him and it broke my heart.
Justin was a little neglected today I feel like though he slept peacefully through the whole thing! Tomorrow I will have some one on one time with him and possibly try to breast feed him.. Since he doesn't really like the bottle I am not sure he will be very interested but we shall try.
We called for the update tonight and all 3 have gained weight. Mason is 4lbs 9oz, Justin is 3 lbs 15 oz and Noah is 3 lbs 5 oz. All really good news. Minimal brady's and Mason is only dsating after he eats. Hopefully the cultures will come back normal and it will all have been a fluke lab result. Suhail, Mason's nurse said he looked great and realy was acting like himself. So whatever is going on maybe we caught it early.
I am exhausted today. Logan is nuts nd keep me on my toes. He is such a sweet boy. My sister Allison babysat last night and she said he was absolutely perfect. I love nights like that and I am so glad she had one with him.
I am off to bed so I can get a little sleep before getting up to pump. Ahhh, the joys of motherhood:-)
Hope everyone has a wonderful night.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Boys

left to right is Justin, Noah and Mason

I posted a few more pictures. As you can see our camera is just horrible! So this weekend we will get better pictures as I am going to convince Bob we need to get the best of the best cameras. I mean we have a lot of moments to capture!

I have not seen the boys since Wednesday. Yesterday I worked which was ok. Today I am waiting for the stupid TV repairman who I am sure will show up at exactly 2 which is the latest he can possibly come. Sigh. I am going right to the hospital as soon as he is done.

I called for an update and everyone is doing great. Mason is 4 pounds 5 ounces and taking a bottle every other feeding! They decided not to put him in a crib yet becasue the isolet is still needing to warm him. They wait until it is 28 for over 24 hours. Basically it is a temperature reading that says this is how much warmth is needed to keep the baby at the right temp. They don't want them to come out too soon becasue if they start burning too many calories trying to stay warm then they will stop gaining weight. As excited as I am to see all 3 in a crib, I need to be patient!

Justin is 3 pounds 10 ounces. He is growing fast. He isn't quite as interested in a bottle yet but getting there. And little Noah is 3 pounds 1 ounce!!!! Finally over the 3 pound mark. I know he will look bigger even from 2 days ago. It is so amazing how all of a sudden they are growing so fast. I felt like in the first 3 weeks everything just stood still. It was like nothing moved forward and then all of a sudden here they go!!

All 3 have had a few Brady's here and there but mostly they are drifts and usually when they need to poop or have big boogies in their noses. They have definitely grown out of a lot of the brady's and it is nice when I get through a whole visit without one alarm going off.

I have met some other moms there and I feel like an old pro. They seem to come and go with their babies staying only a week or 2 and here I am 5 and a half weeks later and still there. I like to think I make them feel a little at ease if that is even possible when your baby is in the NICU. I knew my babies would be there for a long time but I couldn't imagine how they must feel giving birth to a full term baby and having it end up in the NICU. I hope I have helped some of them.

That's all for now. The TV man is still not here and I am thouroughly annoyed. I want to leave now!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!! Here is a picture of Logan. He is addicted to the balls!! He is just so cute:-)




Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wow, in just 2 days so much has happened!! Forgive me if I repeat myself. First, all 3 are off their cannulas!! I couldn't believe it. I went in yesterday and they decided in rounds to try Noah and Mason. They are doing great!! They have little drifts, mostly during feeds but don't require stimulation to get them back on track. Mason is a whopping 4 pounds 1 ounce, he is HUGE!! Who would have thought I would ever say that about a 4 pound baby. It is all relative. Justin is up to 3 pounds 8 ounces and Noah is 2 pounds 15 ounces. So close to 3 pounds I can't believe it!! It is so wonderful to hold them and not have so many wires. All they really have on them are the leads that monitor their heart rates, temperature and breaths per minute. plus the pulse ox on their foot. Seems like a lot but considering everything they had before that's nothing!
All 3 are sucking on their pacifiers and so they have begun to start bottle feeding them. Well, trying to. Justin took a little bit yesterday and today I fed Noah almost a whole bottle! I couldn't believe it. It was so amazing!! It was awkward at first because he is so small. i had to learn how to hold him and then try to burp him. Wow, that was not easy. I was so afraid to hurt him. Theresa, one of their nurses was like, you can hit him a little harder. It was funny. Theresa is great because whenever I come in she comes right over and asks what do you want to do today? What's your time frame and she tries to squeeze in as much as possible in the couple hours that I am there. I often think about what I can do to thank the nurses for giving my children such care and love. I really believe that even though my babies came so early it was truly because God knew those nurses would be the angels taking care of them and helping them to thrive.
Anyway, I loved looking right into Noah's eyes while he ate. he was wide awake. It really tuckered him out but he didn't brady at all which is really great. Think about all that he has to accomplish just to take a bottle. he has to remember to suck, swallow, and breath. Quite a lot for just a little guy! There was a guy there while I was feeding him. i guess he is the dad of one of the babies. He was so annoying. He would not stop talking and he was so damn loud. I was annoyed because i felt like that was supposed to be such a bonding experience for me and Noah and he was intruding. That is the one thing about being in the NICU. Most of the time it is quiet but there are times when it is just bustling with activity.
I tried to give Justin a bottle as well but he was asleep and really not interested so i will try again Friday. Mason didn't take to the bottle at all. They tried last night and i guess he brady'd and just didn't tolerate it. So funny that he would have trouble at 4 pounds and Noah would suck down the whole thing. I guess he is just trying to catch up to his brothers!!
I had my postpardum follow up appointment today. My OB is just the best. He said I am healing well and gave me a clean bill of health. My blood work is stable for the most part though being on the blood thinner has caused me to bruise very easily and the bruises from the injection sites not to heal. So I have a lot of black and blue marks. Very attractive. But a small price to pay.
Tomorrow I am headed into work for a full day. I know I will be exhausted as I get up in the middle of the night to pump. But it will be worth it to have the time when the babies come home. I can't believe it has been 5 weeks. It has flown by. I won't be able to go to the hospital tomorrow and I am so sad. How can I not see my babies!!! But I know it is important that I have the time with my babies when they come home.
I took some new pictures with my crappy camera and will upload them. This weekend our first order of business is to get a new camera.
That's all for now. I will think of 10 things i forgot to say as soon as I post this!

Monday, January 19, 2009

I have to start today by bragging about Logan. He hasn't gotten enough press:-) Today he said his second 2 syllable word. well, does Elmo count? He says that and apple. And Oh my God, it is the cutest thing!! Plus he tried broccoli and a pickle. For him that is a huge deal. Maybe we are on the way to eating meals!!!

As for the boys, I saw them today and I cannot believe how much they are growing. At this point you can see the changes day to day. Bob went to the hospital yesterday and I spent the day with Logan so i had not seen them and I could see a difference. Mason is 3 pounds 15 ounces. yup, almost 4 pounds!!! which is huge! His (fabulous) nurse Sharon also told me he is 19" long! I haven't thought of asking about their length because i have been so concerned with weight. He was 16" at birth. He is having fewer and fewer brady's, in fact he will go almost 24 hours without one. He still has dsats and so they have decided to keep him on the nasal canula for a little while longer. Since he is at 21 percent I really don't mind the extra days. Apparently excessive oxygen can cause damage in preemies. I asked about it today and Tanya, Noah's (wonderful) nurse explained that it usually only happens if babies are on vents for extended periods of time. Oxygen is a drug and can cause problems in the retna. Anyway, 21% is room air and so there is no extra being pumped in. The canula simply adds pressure to make sure the lungs are expanding. He looks adorable and I held him today along with little Noah.

And Little noah is up to 2 pounds 13 ounces!! He is getting up there chasing his brothers!! He is still on the canula and having fewer brady's. he still has a few but they are decreasing everyday. While I was holding both of them Noah reached his little hand over and held Mason's hand. It truly brought tears to my eyes. I love when I hold them together. They are always separated in their isolets and so when i can have them right next t eachother skin to skin I feel like they make each other stronger.

Justin is now 3 pounds 6 ounces and hopefully on the upward swing with the weight. He came off the canula again today and seemed to be doing really well. Barely any brady's. Since he had just come off shortly before I came in his nurse Lisa didn't want to take him out. I don't mind when they do that. I always want to do what is best for the babies even if it means I don't hold them that day. He will get some extra love tomorrow!!

All three will begin to get wheened off the caffeine and both justin and Mason will come off the feeding pumps. Since they are coming up on 34 weeks gestational they will begin to take a bottle soon. How exciting is that? I can't wait to feed them. They are also starting to maintain their body temperature better and that means they will come out of the isolets soon.

I keep waiting for the bomb to drop as each day seems to be better.

I feel like I might be getting a cold and that makes me very nervous. I am torn about whether I should go in to visit tomorrow or wait and see if a cold develops. I would be devastated if i gave any of my babies anything!! I guess I will see how I feel in the morning.

Thanks for the comments on the pictures. Bob and I need to get a new camera so we can take some good ones. Ours is now broken and so most of the pics are looking horrible!

Hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for all your support!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Last night Bob and I went to the hospital together. Our wonderful neighbors John and Lorraine came over and played with Logan and put him to bed. All 3 boys were doing well. We spoke to Sahetta (sp?) who is Mason's nurse. She is great. I think I have mentioned her. She loves Mason. She said he was a little cold earlier that day and so she wasn't going to bathe him. It turned out something was wrong with the isolet and it wasn't warming him properly. As I sat there waiting to bathe justin I noticed that he was breathing really fast. I was watching the monitor and he was taking over 100 breaths per minute. way too many. I asked his nurse about it. She said it is called tachypnea. At first she thought it was probably just intermittant but he kept it up for a while. She decided to check him out manually and see if the monitor was accurate. He was on his belly and she turned him over and took his temp. he was a bit hot which can cause the rapid breathing. She took off his tshirt and put him on his belly. He seemed to calm down but she promised me she would keep a close eye on him. As a result of that, she decided not to bathe him. So that left Noah. I was able to give him a nice sponge bath. It was very cool but also a little sad. All I kept thinking was he isn't supposed to be here. He shouldn't have to endure all of this yet. I felt so bad for him. Imagine the trauma this is to them. I remember when Logan was a newborn and the least bit stimulation exhausted him and he was full term. I can't imagine how exhausting all of this is for them. And little noah is so tiny. He is 2 pounds 11 ounces now which isn't even justin and Mason's birth weight.

After the bath I held Mason and Noah and Bob held Justin. Mason felt so heavy! He is 3 pounds 12 ounces. Justin is now 3 pounds 5 ounces. he gained weight!! I have to call in a little bit and see if he lost tonight. he went up like 4 ounces so i expect he won't maintain that. They are still having brady's and dsats but the nurses tell me that will continue and decrease as they mature. Mason may try a bottle next week as they approach 34 weeks gestational.

I saw them today for a little while and held justin. They are just getting so cute looking like babies now instead of preemies.

Bob will head to the hospital tomorrow and I will spend the day with logan. I am looking forward to that. He is such a joy.

Monday I am headed back to work. It will actually be a good distraction for me.

Me and the Boys

Noah's Bath

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I saw Noah's face!! He is so cute. I had to hold him today. I felt like with all he had been through he needed some mommy time. Of course he had like 5 brady's while I was holding him. I was so nervous they were going to put him back on that damn CPAP. But his nurse Tanya said they would try a couple other things first. I called back later in the afternoon and she said he had been doing fine. Guess he just wanted to totally freak me out! They all had their heads scanned again just as a follow up and they were all normal. So good news!! They had eye exams yesterday and Justin has an infection. Of course I feel like I gave him pink eye but the nurse was like there is no way. Still, I felt like crap. When I called back in the afternoon Judy told me justin drank from a bottle! Only like 2cc but sill that is a huge step. She said it completely knocked him out and she said we might need to wait a little longer before trying again but he was able to breath while sucking which is a huge undertaking for him. She kept the bottle so i can have a souvineir for him. I was glad Judy was the first to give him a bottle. I mean if it couldn't be me of course. They are 33 weeks gestational today so they are really maturing fast.
We called tonight for an update and Mason is 3 pounds 11 ounces!! He is huge. Well, it is all relative. Justin lost a little weight again. Very upsetting. We also found out he has a hemangioma (however that is spelled) on his face. It's not a big deal but it could get really big and he would need to have it removed surgically. That wasn't very good news. He has one on his leg too. They are not positive that's what it is but you can't really tell at this point since he is so small.
Noah has been doing well on the canula and they did not put him back on CPAP. good news:-) He did have a few brady's but nothing significant. Seems like the transfusion really did help him so I am quite happy they did it. He looked great today. Very pink!!
I will be going back to work until the babies come home. I will work part time so that I can still see the babies everyday. i cannot imagine not getting to see them at least for a couple hours.
tomorrow Bob and i are going to go at night so we can help bathe them and meet the night nurses. we talk to them all on the phone but don't really know them.
Logan ate really well today which is quite a feet for him so all in all a good day!! I keep reminding myself to celebrate days like today because who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Today was a much better day. Theresa and Tanya were the babies' nurses and they are both wonderful. I held all three of them together again. What a great feeling. They decided to transfuse Noah today (thanks to Tanya). I just called to check in and he is doing great. He is on the nasal canula and tolerating his feeds. he is up to 2 pounds 10 ounces!! I can't wait to see him tomorrow!! Mason is doing well. only 4 brady's in 24 hours. I spoke to his nurse tonight and she said that is more than normal for his gestational age. (32 weeks) He is at 3 pounds 9 ounces, and doing well with his feeds. Justin gained 50 grams last night but stayed the same today. He needs to start gaining. They started again to fortify his milk up to 22 calories. i am hopeful that will start to bulk him up. I told him today he needs to start gaining.
I asked the nurse today what the criteria is for them to come home. She said that weight plays a part, most of the time 4 and a half to 5 pounds is the general weight but they have to go more than 24 hours with no brady's in order to go home. They have to be taking a bottle and able to maitian their temperature. They also make sure they can tolerate sitting in the car seat. most seats are not made for babies so small. It never occured to me to check the weight requirement on the car seats. Generally they go home between 36 and 40 weeks gestational. So that will bring us to between the beginning of February to the beginning of March. So about 4-8 weeks.
My friend kim came to the hospital with me and saw the babies for the first time. I was so glad to have her there. I do wish we lived closer together.
Logan is doing fine. Bob had to work late tonight so our neighbor Lorraine came over to help me with logan. I try not to lift him too much as I do not want to split my incision. Although it is feeling much better. logan adores her and was very happy to play with his Antie lolly. Plus she brought me English chocolate which is heaven!!
Tomorrow I have to get my labwork done and I am really hoping it is stable and I will only have to go once a week going forward. We'll see!!
Hope everyone has a great night. again, thanks to everyone for their support. It really gets me through each day.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I didn't feel like writing last night. Sunday was such a great day and then I walked in yesterday and every alarm was going off. I tried to hold Mason but he just kept dsat'ing and they had to put him back. When he eats he can't seem to get enough oxygen. They are going to extend his feedings over 40 minutes to see if that helps. he digests it all but for some reason during the feed he can't get it down. Justin had to go back on his canula. he was having a significant amount of brady's and just needed the help again. He also has not been gaining weight and actually has lost some. Not a good sign. So they are going up on his feeds tonight. He didn't tolerate the fortifying but seems to burn through the breast milk and so the other option is to try to give him more. Noah is looking incredibly pale. He is very anemic and they still haven't transfused him. I get why they don't want to do it but I can't stand seeing him so pale. His vitals are ok on the CPAP but he is still having brady's now and then. I was very unhappy with his nurse yesterday. It annoys me when I walk in and am standing by the isolet and the nurse sees me and doesn't acknowledge that she is taking care of my baby. even if they are busy it is nice for them to say I will be right there. Most of the nurses do. It is a select few who I don't care for. For some reason Noah seems to have a different nurse everyday. I don't know if no one has picked him as a primary or what but i really feel like he needs some consistancy. I feel like they don't know him and therefore won't know if he is acting different. I will call tonight and see how their weights are and see how they seem. I guess I am just having a bad day. The ups and downs are like a roller coaster. 2 steps forward and one step back. I keep reminding myself. Yesterday Noah's nurse told me they were putting him on amoxicillan prophilactictly. I asked her why now, today. he does have a kidney isse. It is called a duplicate system and basically he has 2 tubes going from the kidney to the bladder instead of one. She had no clue why they were doing it. I told her I wanted to talk to the dr. When the doctor came she told me the nurse must have misunderstood. They were not starting antibiotics. I was so annoyed that the nurse misunderstood. I mean really, get it together. Read the chart or take better notes. That's the kind of stuff that gets me upset.
One good thing is I do not have to continue the injections for my blood thinner. I am very happy about that. So now I just have to take pills once a day and then get bloodwork twice a week for 3 months. Great news. Although I would really like to have a few glasses of wine and I am not allowed to drink on the blood thinners.
Logan is doing well. we are trying to get him to eat a little better. Wow, what a pain in the butt. All he wants is crackers and applesauce. He ate 2 bites of chicken tonight. I was so proud he actually tried it. I am hoping he is eating well before the babies come home or he will probably want to go back on a bottle!!!
Anyway, I am hopeful tomorrow will be a good day. my friend kim is coming to visit and to see the boys. She has been sick and unable to visit so I am excited for her to mee them.
I hope everyone is doing well and I promise tomorrow not to be such a downer!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

As you can see I posted some pictures from the past 2 days. I can't believe how big Mason is getting! He looks like a baby now! Today I held all 3 of them together! It was the coolest thing. I do have a picture but have to scan it in. The nurses are so great. I of course didn't bring my camera so they took a picture and printed it for me. They were so cute!! Theresa (Mason and justin's nurse) took the nasal canula's out of justin's nose. He did great breathing on his own!! They are going to try taking them off Mason later today and see how he goes. Noah is still on the CPAP. Deb (his nurse) made a plea for him to come off again but the Dr. wants to wait a couple more days. probably later in the week. Noah was pretty antsy again today. They are going to do bloodwork tomorrow and they will see if they are going to transfuse him. It is good he is antsy instead of lathargic but I feel like he is uncomfortable for some reason. Although, he settled down and finally got comfy with me. Feeds are going well. Mason may have a little reflux too. he dsat's during his feeds which can be related to reflux. I guess I will ask tomorrow if they are going to hang his food too. Anything to make them more comfortable!
Tomorrow I get my labs drawn again so hopefully I can stop the injections. I feel like I have said that way too many times!! Bob can go back to see the babies starting tomorrow, his eye is much better. But he has to work and so it is tough for him to get there. hopefully one night after work.
Hope everyone enjoys the pictures. I love them!!

Mommy Noah and Mason





Saturday, January 10, 2009

I went to the hospital this afternoon with my sister Allison. I was so excited becasue I knew I was going to hold at least one of the babies! I could only stay for a couple hours becasue of course I still have Logan and want to spend time with him as well. So when I got there I immediatly held Justin. He looked great. He is 3 pounds 1 ounce still but doing well. He is getting better with his feeds and didn't have any aspirates today. They had to stop fortifying the milk because he just couldn't tolerate it so they will wait a day or two before trying again. It is pretty common in preemies to have reflux issues but they say they do outgrow it. We put Justin back in and Theresa, Mason and justin's nurse asked if i wanted to hold Noah and Mason at the same time. I hadn't even considered that since I was so used to them having too many wires and IV's and stuff. Now that they don't have IV's and Mason is on the nasal canula's it is easier to get them out. I was so excited. That was the first time the two of them had been next to eachother in life. Theresa took a picture which I will post tomorrow. It was really cool. Kind of sunk in that I have more than one baby coming home!! When you are only holding one at a time, even though they are differnet babies it is almost like you have one. But when I was holding both of them it really sunk in. It was the coolest feeling!! Both Maosn and Noah have very dark hair. I can't believe how much Mason has!! They were both so cozy and comfy lying on my chest. Before I held him Noah was really antsy in his isolet. He just looked uncomfortable. Then when I held him he totally relaxed. After about a half hour I had to get going. Allison was great. I can imagine for guests it can get a little boring sitting there with me while I hold the babies. I can sit there for hours and it flies by. Once Noah went back in he seemed uncomfortable again. he really is very pale and I felt horrible leaving. When I called tonight his nurse kim said he had a huge poop!! When I told her how uncomfortable he had been she said that was probably why. she said she wouldn't be surprised if he lost an ounce!! Of course i don't want him losing weight but she said he was happy as a clam and so I feel much better! Oh, I forgot to mention that Sonetta (not sure how to spell her name) who is Mason's nurse, told me that everytime she has him he poops all over the isolet and tonight he pooped all over her arm and hand!! She is so funny. I can tell she just adores him and it makes me feel so good when they are like that. I know they are taking good care of them. She also told me that they were working on getting Mason to take the pacifier. She said they would probably try moving him to a bottle soon!! I am so excited. I can't imagine how it will feel to actually feed him myself!! She also said he is up to 3 pounds 6 ounces!!! He is huge compared to noah. he is almost a whole pound bigger!
So today was a good day. I still worry about them all the time but am glad i am able to go see them again. I will go there again tomorrow morning and then spend the afternoon with Logan. Today Bob took Logan to his friend Jay's house who has a dog. he had such a great time. he loves dogs!! he misses my parents dog Murphy so much. when he goes to my sister's house he runs around yelling dog and looking for him. I would love to get him a puppy but have zero interest in taking care of one. Maybe when they are all over 3 I will consider it. And when we have a yard. Who wants to walk a dog in this miserable weather!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

I got to see the babies today!! I was so excited. I didn't want to hold them. Just paranoid of giving them anything. Tomorrow I am definitely holding them though. Mason and Justin are doing well. Mason weighs 3 pounds 4 ounces!!! He was dressed in a little outfit today. He looked so cute! It was a preemie outfit and it was still huge on him. Amazing that I actually thought he looked like he had fattened up! It is all relative. Justin looked good too. I could see his face for really the first time. He is still having his feeding issues. He threw up this afternoon but seemed to tolerate his 6 PM and 9 PM feeds well. He had a big poop and that seemed to be one of the reasons for the feeding problem. not sure why he threw up today but i guess we will see how it goes. They are still feeding him over 30 minutes and have just started to fortify the milk with calories. Noah is up to 2 pounds 7 ounces which is great! He is back on the CPAP and that seems to have helped the Brady's. He is paler than the other 2 and is definitely anemic. I spoke to the Dr. today and he explained that as they get older their bone marrow starts to make the red blood cells. At this point if they transfuse him it could comprimise his ability to make his own blood. So they will wait as long as possible. He is not acting or looking particularly sick and since the brady's have decreased they would rather try to get him to correct the anemia himself. Obviously if he needs the blood they will give it to him but he seems stable right now. he still looks so tiny especially compared to his brothers but he is just our little peanut. I know he is going to start gaining weight andthat is going to help him. he just needed a little extra time on the CPAP. It is so hard. I know I am supposed to expect setbacks. 2 steps forward one step back. I tell myself that over and over. It is still devastating when there is a step back. I know I have a lifetime of worry ahead of me and it has clearly started already. Thankfully the nurses are taking good care of them and I know they will make sure he gets what he needs.
I got my bloodwork results and unfortunately I am still not therapeutic. Which means I get to keep giving myself the injections. I am bruised all over becasue of them and I have to say, I am a bit depressed about it. I am hopeful that Monday will be my last day. 20 days of injections. yuck. Bob's pink eye is getting a little better. he rubs the crap out of it and so it continues to swell. He should be able to go back monday to the hospital.
Logan had a good week at school. He is having some bedtime issues. doesn't want to go to sleep. I guess he is afraid he will miss something. he has been waking up in the middle of the night also. Bob and i are pretty tired. But i guess we should get used to that! He is getting to be a pretty good dancer and loves to play ring around the rosie. He is truly a joy and he makes everything worthwhile.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I was in this morning to drop off milk and saw the Dr. He said all the boys had been doing fine. He also said they go through caffeine like he has never seen I asked if that was a problem and he said no it just means they digest faster than most. I said so does their father so that explained that! Anyway, he said they all had their occasional brady's but that was to be expected. When I called this afternoon Judy told me that Noah had several brady's this morning and that he had one pretty significant episode where he stopped breathing. I was a little upset that the dr had not told me. Apparently that had continued through the day and he has been getting paler so they deceided to put him back on the CPAP. I know I should be prepared for set backs but they seem so devastating. I just called back to see how he was doing on it and his nurse said he was doing ok. Before she fed him she suctioned his mouth and found that he had a significant amount of gook and since she had cleared that he had been fine (about 2 hours). Made me annoyed that he had not been suctioned well prior to that. Especially since he normally has a lot of secretions and his nurses know that. Anyway, I am so upset. Mason and Justin are both doing well. periodic brady's but nothing significant. The Dr. did say I could see them tomorrow although I have a slight sore throat so I am not sure if I will feel comfortable going or not. I will see how I feel in the morning. I am nervous now about all of them especially Noah. His labs were low and I almost hope they transfuse him since it seemed to do so much for his brothers. Every dr. is different though and I get the feeling the one on service now waits longer than Dr. Wade when she had them. I do miss her. I am exhausted and am going to try to get some sleep. I really hope they all have a good night and are doing well in the morning.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Just got the latest update and the boys are great. I call thoughout the day and thankfully they have been boring updates!! Around noon Justin and Noah came off of the CPAP!! The are both on the nasal canuals (however you spell it), basically nasal prongs!! I can't wait to see them!! They are tolerating them well. Brady's here and there but nothing so far to be concerned with. Justin is doing well with the lengthened feeds and noah and Mason are eating well also. Noah is up to 2 pounds 6 ounces! Finally over that hump. Hopefully he is going to go up from here. Both Mason and Justin are at 3 pounds 2 ounces tonight. They are going to look so big when I am finally able to get back to the hospital. Other than that, no new news. My eye is looking better so I am hoping I can go back by Friday. Bob definitely has pink eye now too. They actually sent him home from work. I go in for my bldwrk tomorrow so fingers crossed my INR is up and I can stop the injections!
Logan is back at school and doing well. His favorite word is no. He is so cute I can't stand it. He makes iteasier to deal with having the triplets in the NICU. He keeps me busy and on my toes. The past 3 weeks have flown by but in so many ways it has been the longest 3 weeks of my life.
My OB called today to check in. he is such a great guy. He checks in on the babies and that really means a lot to us. I like to know that everyone is looking out for them.
Thanks as always to everyone following the blog, the wonderful emails and comments. They mean so much to us and get us through each day knowing we have so many wonderful people in our lives.
Good night.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

We just called for the last update of the night. The boys are doing well. justin continues to have some feeding issues. He had a fairly large aspirate at 9 so they are waiting to see if he digests it before the midnight feed. They changed his feeding so it is given to him over 30 minutes to help with reflux. Mason is at 3 pounds one ounce still and eating like a champ. They fortified his milk with extra calories so hopefully he will put on the grams! Noah is up to 2 pounds 5 ounces again. He seems to go back and forth but now that he is geting the extra calories also I am hopeful he will start to increase consistantly. All 3 had limited brady's today which is great news!!

As for me, I spoke to the hematologist today and I still have to continue the injections. Very depressing. But my eye is clearing up and I am hopeful I will be back at the hospital by Thursday or Friday at the latest. I can't wait to see the boys. I miss them so much!!!!! The nurses are so sweet about everything. They are taking such good care of them. Bob is now complaining of an itchy eye but I am hopeful it is sympathy pain:-)
I spoke to the ICN a couple times last night. My doctor said I will likely have to stay away for 5 days. It is such a horrible feeling to not be able to go see them. I know they are being well taken care of but I just want to hold them and see for myself how they are doing. The nurses updated me and all three seem to be doing well. Justin threw up his 6 PM feed last night. Not quite sure what happened there. He tolerated his 9PM and only threw up a little of his midnight. I asked the nurse ifshe thought he had a problem and she didn't think so but of course I will know more when I call this morning after rounds. He is holding steady at around 3 pounds which is great. his IV came out yesterday and that of course casued him to lose 40 grams. He is back on CPAP and doing well with that. When I called at 3 AM his nurse Ellen said he looked like he was relaxing on a beach. Mason is doing great. They added calories to his food so hopefully he will start putting on the weight. he is doing well on the nasal prongs at around 24 percent oxygen. Room air is 21% so considering he is on the prongs, that's pretty good. Noah is doing better. They didn't change anything for him other than making sure that the secretions are suctioned more regularly as that seems to coincide with the brady's. he had a good night with no brady's. He is up to full feeds and they have started to add calories. He is hovering at 2 pounds 4 ounces so they are really wanting him to gain some weight.I hope the addd calories do it. He is such a little peanut. I am a little worried about justin and his feeding but hopefully he doesn't have an infection or anything and it was just a random event.

Tonight there is a support group for parents of children in the ICN. I am going to go and see what it's about. Maybe it will be good to talk to other parents going through the same thing.

My parents are headed back to Florida tomorrow. I am so sad to see them go. They have been such a tremendous help to us along with my sister Allison and Chrisanne when she comes down from NYC. They have been here for 3 months and I have gotten used to having them around. I know they will be back when the babies come home (i will certainly need the help) but it has been nice having them so close. I know they are anxious to get out of this cold weather though. I am sick of winter already!!

That's all for now.

Monday, January 5, 2009

I called the ICN this morning and Justin and mason are doing well. Noah had a lot of brady's last night. They drew some blood and will decide on rounds this morning what the plan will be. I unfortunately have contracted pink eye. I asked if I could visit and just not hold the babies but they told me I am not allowed. I am devastated. They are going to call me back and let me know how long I have to stay away. I am waiting to call my doctor and see what I need to do. I have not had this since I was a child. I only hope that I did not have it when I last held the babies. I am so glad I did not hold them Sat. and that I stayed home yesterday. I had a slight sore throat and thought it would be better not to bring any virus to the ICN. I am headed to the dr. as I will need clearence from them to go back to the ICN. Plus I have to get labs drawn to see if I can stop with the injections for the clot. Hopefully it will be a good day!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Bob's Entry
Another weekend has passed and the triplets are doing pretty good considering they were born 12 weeks premature. I spent most of my weekend with Logan, but got to the hospital today. I held Mason for about 30 minutes. He had his eyes wide open looking up at me. I said hello to him and I could have sworn he smiled. I am sure he was just passing gas or something. It was a smile to me. Mason is 2lbs 15oz. He was born at 2lbs 14oz. Noah is almost at full feeds along with Mason. He is still on the CPAP for his breathing. Mason is on the nose tubes. Noah still looks like the little peanut he was 2 weeks ago. He is back at his birthweight. I will try and go to the hospital tomorrow night and hold Noah. I try to spread it out so I rotate the order that I hold them. Justing is 3lb 1oz. He was born at 2lbs 14oz so he is gaining nicely. He was taken off of the CPAP this morning but put back on later this evening because he had 6-8 brady's. He needed help remembering to breath. Other than that, he is doing great and all of my boys are on track for another healty week. So far so good, but a long way to go.

I took Logan for his haircut this weekend, which he did not like at all. So, I took him to Toys-R-Us and bought him whatever he pointed at. Actually, I got him a little powered quad and a new little chair for him to sit in. He likes them a lot. We had a good weekend together. Tracey is feeling better and has started driving. It was tough for her to have to depend on others to take her when she wanted to go anywhere. She is vey independent as most of you know. Overall, we have had a few stressers over the past weeks, but nothing that we cannot handle together. I truly love being married and having a big family to have fun with in the future. Life is looking good for 2009. It has to be a little better then that last few months of 2008 (other than the birth of the boys). Tracey is going to see the boys tomorrow after her follow up appointment so more to come tomorrow. Goodnight to all.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

I tried to write last night but bob accidentally changed the settings and everything I wrote was translated into arabic or something. Anyway, I went to the hospital and was able to hold Mason for about an hour. He was so comfy and warm and it felt so good to just rock him. My mom and dad were there with me. All the boys are doing well. Noah had his pick line taken out and they did not have to put a peripheral IV since he is on day 10 of his feeds and tolerating them well. So hopefully he won't have to get another stick. Although he has not been transfused at all and I fear that may happen soon. Justin got his pick line out also but they did put in a peripheral IV for his fluids since he is not quite as far as Noah and Mason in the feeds. He should be at full feeds in the next day or so and they will think about taking it out if he continues to tolerate them. Mason had a bit of a scare overnight. His belly swelled up quite a bit and he threw up. They think it is related to the cpap which can push air into their belllies. They gave him a supository and held his next feed. He was able to go to the bathroom and they switched his cpap to the 2 prongs in his nose and the swelling went down and he is fine now. They did an xray to be sure and it was normal. When I saw him today he looked good adn comfortable on his belly. That is definitely his favorite position. When I saw them today their nurses were very busy the whole time I was there and so I didn't get to hold anyone. Which is ok, they really were so comfy I hate disturbing them. I didn't love their nurses today. Judy was there who is one of Justin's primary's but the other 2 were new to me and they just weren't quite as kind as the usual ones. I know I have to get used to different nurses but like the ones that normally are there and I will be happy when they are back. It still is part of the holidays so a lot of them have off. Other than that, thing were quiet which is nice. Logan is feeling better and back to his old self. He will not be happy to go back to school having gotten used to being home so much. Hopefully I will be able to spend some more quality time with him over the next couple weeks.
That's all the news for now. Hope you are all having a nice relaxing weekend!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year! We are so looking forward to 2009! Yesterday I went to the hospital with our friend Rita. Rita has triplets also and delivered at 28 weeks. Her babies are 10 months old now and Bob and I took great comfort knowing they are strong and healthy. Before i delivered the babies Bob kept saying to me, Rita's babies are healthy and beautiful and ours will be too. It was nice to take her to see them. I know it brought back memories for her and it was good to talk with her about everything. The boys were good and i held justin for a bit. I knew bob was going after work and so I asked them to hold mason's feed so he could hold him. Justin had a couple brady's while we were there. Noah and mason were fine. Bob went to see them with his dad and held Mason. We called after midnight to wish them a happy new year. Justin had been having a rough night. he had a several A's and B's as they call them. (that refers to Brady's and Apnea's) The nurse said he looked like a dishrag. i didn't appreciate the reference. Bob actually told the charge nurse she had said that. It's just not appropriate to make that reference to a mother. The charge nurse apologized and said that she was one of their best nurses. Still, it wasn't very nice. But she meant he looked pale and sick. They were waiting for the blood to transfuse him. Noah and Mason were fine. This morning i called and the transfusion had helped Justin a lot and he was having a much better day. Bob went to see them this afternoon with his mom, sister and brother. I spent the day with logan which was really nice. He is finally feeling better and I knew he was having a hard time this week. eveytime the doorbell rang he would yell NO because he knew it meant I was going to leave. It felt good to stay with him. All 3 of the babies were doing well. They are all increasing their feeds which is great. I can even bring in more milk which has taken over our freezer!! They all have minor episodes. A's and B's here and there but nothing to be concerned about. I love boring updates!! I just called to get the night time update before I go to bed. Noah had a bit of an aspirate at 9 so they held his feeding but we'll see how that goes at the midnight feed. he is on day 9 of the 10 day advance which is great. Both Mason and justin are doing well. the nurses said they felt like they had no news. Which again was fine with me!!
Tomorrow I will go see them early in the morning while my sister watches Logan. That way I can spend the afternoon with him. I feel so torn. Starting next week I will be able to drive and that will help so i don't have to rely on people to drive me around.
Happy NEw Year to everyone. I hope you all have a healthy and happy 2009!!